Happy Pride Month! It’s been a while since I’ve written about some of the books I’ve read and haven’t gotten a chance to make a post about them. With all this time we have now, I can finally write. I’m going to be doing my top picks for each month moving forward instead of a full post. What If It’s Us by Becky Albertalli & Adam Silvera is everything you would expect and want in a teen rom-com novel. In this story, you have 2 young men who are looking for love in New York City. One thinks the universe is out to get him and the other thinks the universe is always helping him find his way. Throughout the book, we discover both of the characters’ perspectives on life but specifically on how & what the universe has in store for both of them. With ups, downs and page-turner chapters, it’s a book that will leave you satisfied with the ending. MAMA’S BOY by Dustin Lance Black is a memoir walking us through how his family was divided and had to go through a lot of hardships. Specifically how his mom was the one who faced the most challenges but persevered through them all, up until she died. Black would soon discover that he would be faced with similar opticals, dealing with them on his own. However, through it all, this story showed us and him that happiness & love can still be found in the darkest of times. RED, WHITE & ROYAL BLUE by Casey McQuiston is a rom-com novel that you literally couldn’t put down. For the Prince of Whales & the President of the United States son, they had reached their limits forcing the media and public to find out the truth about their long rivalry. In a plan to rebuild their reputations, they fake their friendship to the public. However, both of them start spending more and more time together ending up having a secret romance. This book will have you laughing with OMG moments and questioning whether all of this can be pulled off without creating a media war involving two major countries. Small Stumbles & Tumbles by Alexxus Newman is a book that is a work of art. My friend has put a new and unique writing style to her first poetry book by adding in songs she was inspired by to go with her poems. With this unique and creative way of writing, you ponder more of what the author is trying to get across, along with how the song may have an effect on the poem itself. Through pain, happiness and thoughts, I’m extremely happy she finally got to put it all on paper and publish this amazing book.
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“When it comes to the stuff that really matters to you, why settle for fine when fabulous is also on the menu?”- Jen Sincero After reading Jen Sincero’s first book You Are A Badass, I was interested to see how she would keep us motivated to do more. In this book, she mainly talks about how you can apply smaller goals and outcomes in your daily life. Talking about small snippets of stories, inspirational quotes, random thoughts, motivators and how not to run from your fears but to run straight at them, because “they’ll get the hell out of your way. Fears hate it when you do that”. Many of these thoughts and motivators she talks about were no longer than a page in length. Though they are short, you’re reading and digesting it by thinking, ‘I can do that’ or ‘I can relate to that’. At least for me anyway, but maybe I’ve just been through a lot so far. Blame it on being in theatre I guess haha! She starts off by saying “[an] excuse is simply a challenge that you’ve decided has power over you. If you’re serious about changing your life, you’ll find a way past all your obstacles; if you’re kinda sorta serious about changing your life, you’ll find an excuse”. To me, this applies to all of us because we always want to change our lives for the better (no Wicked pun intend for my theatre friends who are reading this) but will make an excuse up by not being motivated enough or we’ve mentally told ourselves we just can’t do it, blocking it out of our minds. There could be many other reasons but those are the two I could think of. So instead of making up excuses for yourself to get something done or accomplish it, we all need to get out of our comfort zones in order to achieve what we want in life and say YOLO a couples times a day too. You’re only given one life and one opportunity for certain things, so go and do it! Another interesting thing she brought up is how everyone is on a different path to achieving their goals and objectives. Leading up to that, we still have small tasks or jobs along the way. She says in the book that “[no] matter how small your task is, when it’s in the direction of your goal, it adds to your progress, so you’re gonna want to treat it like a big deal it is”. This hits the nail right on the head because of how you are building up your stairway to reaching the top. You must start from the bottom and go through hell before you can get where you want to be. Look at any one of your friends, parents, teachers or even celebrities. J.K. Rowling is a great example if you ask me, and see how they all had to work for what they wanted in life and had to do all these small tasks to get where they are today. It’s not easy because everyone has had to do at least one ‘joe job’ in their life. Therefore saying to themselves, I don’t want to be doing this for the rest of my life but appreciative of the experience I got out of it because it can help build myself up to where I want to be. The last tip she gave and repeated throughout the book was to take time for yourself, whether it be 5 to 30 minutes a day. Self-care and love was a big thing she emphasized in the book, which is needed more than ever nowadays. It’s important for us to set aside the time to meditate, close our eyes, think, listen, look and breath for a couple of minutes so we can be grounded again. Doing this will help you feel less overwhelmed or make logical decisions about something. Also being able to have a clear mindset and at ease with everything that’s going on. However, you’ll still have your checklist of things to do and go through it one by one verse being all over the place. Remember... “You can’t take care of anything or anyone if you don’t take care of yourself”. “We all get dealt cards. Some of us get better cards than others. And while it’s easy to get hung up on our cards, and feel we got screwed over, the real game lies in the choices we make with those cards, the risks we decide to take, and the consequences we choose to live with.” - Mark Manson (The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck) We all make choices and decisions that we are either proud of or regret sometimes. However, if we focus mainly on those decisions or choices, it’s not going to be good for us. It’s not healthy for us to keep a comment, object or something we’re just thinking of as a negative inside of us, by holding onto it for a long period of time. And that's what this book talks about… with occasionally dropping a few F-bombs from time to time too. Simply put, what this book talks about and what I took away from it was that we need to learn on what TO GIVE a fuck about and what NOT to give a fuck about. One of the quotes I loved that best example this is, “[essentially] we become more selective about the fucks we’re willing to give. This is something called maturity. It’s nice; you should try it sometime. Maturity is what happens when one learns to only give a fuck about what’s truly fuck worthy.”- Mark Manson. I mean he’s not wrong, to be honest. Basically, this is where we need to decide whether or not if it’s important enough to have us worrying over it or simply say ‘not worth my time’ and move onto the next thing. We can’t get into the habit of pleasing everyone or being afraid that we’re going to offend someone just because of our opinions or beliefs. It will mentally and physically drain you and it’s not good. So that’s where we need to realize, more than ever, that we need to have more of a selective way of giving a fuck for certain things in our lives. It sounds harsh, but after a while, you will realize that all the pressure, over thinking or pleasing that you had been doing before is all gone. The part that I really related to the most and I hope other people can as well as is, “[happiness] is not about being positive and happy all the time, it’s about accepting the fact that sometimes life sucks and taking responsibility for being happy anyway.” -Mark Manson. This quote and statement couldn’t be truer in today’s society. People need to realize, and probably have already, that life sucks sometimes. That’s it. You can’t expect to walk through life with no problems or issues in your way and go merry on your way. Some people still do this and I can’t wait until they get their reality check because it’s going to be a whirlwind for them. You have to work for what you want to achieve or get in life. It’s not going to get handed to you but for some, it still is and they will have it harder when they go out on their own in the real world. However, finding that happiness is when you are passionate about what you do and don't think life sucks anymore. Yes, you’ll have your hard days but you’ll still get through the day and look forward to tomorrow. Lastly, getting back to the original quote I mentioned above, is with these cards you don’t have to look at them as a negative and get “hung up” on the deck you were dealt as Mark said. It’s the choices and decisions you make on going forward with the hand that you have in front of you. Yes, you might have certain circumstances and priorities that can’t be changed but you have the choice to make it better. You have the power to upgrade, toss or even keep what you have been given. That's the perk of all of this when it comes to whether or not to give a fuck. In the end, YOU are the one that needs to know what TO GIVE a fuck about, what you want in life and what’s important to YOU. “maybe, if you put your disbelief aside, roll up your sleeves, take some risks, and totally go for it, you’ll wake up one day and realize you’re living the kind of life you used to be jealous of” ― Jen Sincero I’ll be honest. I am not the one to finish a book, let alone read one in its entirety. It’s very rare, tbh. YOU ARE A BADASS is one of those books that I enjoyed and could relate to but couldn’t have come at a better time in my life either. The quote that I said above and that stuck with me afterwards, is probably the most important thing I took away. What I’ve learned is that, you can’t be worried about the past, the future, the way people think of you or let alone what you think of yourself. All of these can’t make you or help you grow as a person until you can learn to let go of them and just be in the present. Being able to love yourself and focus on you, before you put anything else in front or above you, is the most important thing to remember and establish for yourself. Myself included, I use to compare my life to others and tbh social media has a big impact on that BUT… all that matters, is that you’re living, loving and enjoying life to the fullest, whatever that may be. You only have one shot. Taking life in stride and living in the moment is the best feeling you can experience, so much so, you’re only worrying about THAT moment. This book opened my eyes even more to what I am capable of and what I can put my mind to. We all have the power inside of us to go out and do the things we want to do. Whether that be our hopes, dreams, etc,. It’s whether we choose to get up and go do them. And for the people that I already see doing that or are inspiring me to live my life to fullest, thank you for inspiring & motivating me and others to do the same. |
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June 2020
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